Mother in the Mountains

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Ways to Encourage Positive Sibling Relationships

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I think the way I learned to encourage positive sibling relationships was by watching the way my mom raised myself and my siblings. Even now we get along despite large and small age gaps between all of us. I live in the same city as one brother and one sister and I feel so lucky that I get to. If I ever need help they’re always willing and they know I’m here if they need someone too.

I had my first two girls super close in age on purpose. Though my third was a surprise I actually love having three girls close together. My closest sister was born when I was 6 and I loved having a little sister but I always wished she was closer in age. That’s why when I had my girls I decided that I wanted them to have a really good relationship.

I’m not saying they don’t fight because they do. They steal each others toys, sneak each others snacks, and sometimes even hit each other. But more often than not all three of them will happily play for hours together. I sometimes feel a little sad because I am always their first best friend and I get a little left out but mostly I’m happy to fold the laundry in peace.

So here are some ways to encourage positive sibling relationships

A new sibling is as a positive thing

Early on I talk about how they are going to get a baby and that they get to help take care of the baby. I always act excited about it and never like they’ll be replaced or that it will be hard. When the baby is born I let the older sibling help as much as they can. It’s a little scary letting a toddler hold a baby but it’s important that they feel involved and responsible.

Maintain a good parental relationship

Early on make sure they know a new sibling does not change the dynamic between the two of you. Well, maybe it does but never in a negative way. I always called my eldest my ‘bestie’ and that didn’t change when she got a sister.

I also continue a tradition my mom started that we call “turns”. Basically, whenever she needed to run errands she would take one of us. We started with the eldest and we all took “turns” being the only one to go. Usually we also got a treat but normally it was a treat we got to share with everyone when we got home. I think that was helpful because we felt special because we got to pick the treat. Then we felt special again because we got to be the one to share the treat with our siblings.

One on one time

I know sometimes it is hard to get out the door with the big siblings, especially if childcare is difficult. Sometimes everyone only gets one “turn” a month (or even less!). So in addition I have individual time with each one each day. My 2 year old gets private story time before nap. My 4 year old gets an hour with me while everyone else naps. Usually we practice numbers or letters or do another fun activity. The baby gets snuggles, cuddles, and sometimes nursing before naps.

Encourage their friendship

I know this one seems kind of obvious but it kind of surprised me at how well it worked. My oldest two were going through a patch where they seemed to constantly be fighting. It was getting to where everyone was just ornery all day. I finally started talking about how they’re all besties. I used to say “who’s my bestie?” and they would say each others and their own names. Now I say, “who’s your bestie?” And they’ll say each others name and sometimes my name last. Just talking about how they’re so lucky to have each other and really encouraging their friendship made a huge difference. I didn’t even do anything, I just talked about it.

I have a great relationship with my seven siblings and I really hope my children are lucky enough to have the same.

What are some ways you have found works to encourage sibling relationships?

For some really good tips on how to deal when your kids fight (not if, they will fight it’s guaranteed) check out this post by mommy blogger Amber at Faust Island.

If you’re still in the trenches read this post by mommy blogger Crystal. It does get worse before it gets better – but it does get better.

xo

Faith

Whole Food Marbled Cheesecake Brownies

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We wanted a treat for Valentines and I couldn’t decide between making brownies or cheesecake. So I didn’t decide, I made these delicious marbled cheesecake brownies. I think it’s really important to have a healthy view on eating. That’s why I don’t see the point of denying myself a delicious treat once in a while

Pro-tip: If you’ve already decided to make brownies and/or cheesecake today head to your fridge and pull out the cream cheese, sour cream, and eggs. You’re going to need all of them room temperature before you can get started.

However, I always try to make my own treats with whole, good quality ingredients. “Skinny” doesn’t necessarily mean healthier. In fact, fat is necessary for brain growth and more. I will note that these are not going to hit the spot if you’re craving something super sweet. These marbled cheesecake brownies are dark chocolate with refreshing not-too-sweet swirl.

cheesecake ingredients for marble cheesecake brownies

I used a kitchen scale to weigh my ingredients which made it super simple but I include the measurements as well. I put off getting a kitchen scale for a while and I can’t believe that I did. If you don’t have one yet but you do baking or cooking on a regular basis, it’s worth it to get one.

a child's hand pouring butter into eggs

It’s also important to use the correct measuring technique for flours, cocoa powder, and other dry ingredients. You simply scoop spoonfuls of the dry ingredient into measuring cup and then lightly scrape across the top to even it out. If you don’t you could end up with a lot more ingredient than expected and it will definitely change the taste and texture.

ingredients for marbled cheesecake brownies

This recipe is actually quite simple to make but it does require some waiting. But, you are well rewarded if you have a little patience to allow these brownies to cool. Enjoy!

Marbled Cheesecake Dark Chocolate Brownies

Marbled Cheesecake Dark Chocolate Brownies

Prep Time: 20 minutes
Cook Time: 18 minutes
Additional Time: 8 hours
Total Time: 8 hours 38 minutes
Decadent, dark chocolate brownies with a rich cream cheese swirl.

Ingredients

  • cheesecake
  • ½ cup (64g) cream cheese, room temperature
  • ½ cup (64g) sour cream
  • ¼ cup (34g) sugar (coconut, raw, etc.)
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • .
  • brownies
  • ¾ cup (90g) white whole wheat flour
  • ¾ cup (60g) unsweetened cocoa powder 
  • ¼ tsp baking powder
  • ¼ tsp salt
  • 2 tbsp (28g) unsalted butter or coconut oil, melted and cooled slightly
  • 2 large eggs, room temperature
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • ⅓ cup (80g) plain sour cream
  • ½ cup (120mL) pure maple syrup

Instructions

  1. Preheat oven to 300°F and prepare a 8-inch square baking pan by spraying it with cooking spray.
  2. Prepare brownies by whisking together dry ingredients; flour, cocoa, baking powder, and salt.
  3. In a separate bowl whisk together eggs, butter, and vanilla. Mix in the sour cream until no lumps are visible and then stir in maple syrup.
  4. Mix dry ingredients into wet ingredients until just incorporated together.
  5. Prepare cheesecake swirl by mixing cream cheese and sour cream until smooth. Add and mix in maple syrup and vanilla.
  6. Pour brownie mixture into prepared pan. Pour cheesecake on top and swirl together with the tip of a knife.
  7. Bake for 18-20 minutes. Higher altitudes need less time compared to lower altitudes.
  8. Remove from oven and allow to cool down to room temperature, about one hour. Place in fridge and let cool for six hour.
  9. Slice, top with strawberries and whipped cream if desired, and serve.
Cuisine: Dessert / Category: Recipes

And now I may need to go bake these again. I’m pretty sure I ate 90% of this batch myself. Let me know if you like them.

If I haven’t sold you on this recipe maybe check out this Smith Island cake by Fort Birthday

xo

Faith

Midway Ice Castles: Fun Activities in Salt Lake City (Winter)

     motherinthemountains      1 Comment

Being new to the city it was hard to figure out where the fun stuff happens, especially fun kid-friendly stuff. I’ve been hard at work going on adventures with my girls to find fun, interesting, and enjoyable activities. Winter time is especially hard. Sure, there’s skiing, everyone knows skiing. But, did you know about the Midway Ice Castle? They open every winter as soon as it gets cold enough and they stay open until it’s just not cold enough.

About Midway Ice Castle

I’ve heard that every year they get bigger and better. I’m not sure I can verify that but it is definitely bigger than five years ago. Five years ago was the first time I heard about it when someone recommended I get my bridals done there. I did, they were gorgeous. This was also right after Frozen and I had several dumbstruck little girls who thought I was the princess. Yes, I got pictures with them. No, I never saw them again.

The ice castle is located near the Homestead Resort. The tickets are available online. There is a standby line but due to the popularity they urge you to purchase the tickets ahead of time.

This year I was again impressed by the beauty and the cold. Here’s some information to help you decide if this is the family adventure for you:

I’d say the Midway Ice Castle are appropriate for Ages 4 on up and those not super sensitive to cold.

Pros

  • It was absolutely stunning. A castle made of ice is as gorgeous as it sounds.
  • The slides for 42″ and taller were actually a lot of fun, even for the adults.
  • When it gets darker there are some beautiful light shows on the ice that is perfect for photo ops.
  • There are some beautiful fountains.
  • There are plenty of employees to help you find your way.
  • They’ve streamlined the process of getting tickets right to your phone so you can get right in when you get there.
  • Did I mention how beautiful it was?
  • You can purchase hot cocoa and other snacks at their snack bar.

Cons:

  • The tickets are not on the cheaper end, I recommend visiting during the week if at all possible for the cheaper pricing.
  • Since they’ve joined with the Homestead Resort it’s easier to find but they also have lots of ways to make money. For example, the overpriced snacks at the cafe and the expensive souvenirs in the shop – conveniently located on the only path to the car. It’s a tourist trap though so as long as you know and expect it then it’s fine.
  • It’s cold. Very cold. But it’s an ice castle so this is another thing you should expect and prepare for.

Overall the Midway Ice Castle was a fun experience for us. I plan on waiting until my girls are tall enough for the bigger slides and taking them during a week day. I also recommend going as an after-Christmas activity to drive away the winter blahs.

pinterest image with midway ice castle text information

Stay tuned for more fun activities in Salt Lake City! If there’s any place you’d love for me to try out let me know. I’ll do my best and report back here.

xo

Faith

NICU Stays Aren’t just for Preemies

     motherinthemountains      1 Comment

Seren was only 1 day early and pretty much perfect in every way. At 7 and a half pounds, she was by far my biggest baby, and had the prettiest dark hair. I wrote about her birth story here. She was a great baby too, she slept much of her first day and was fine laying on the floor and playing as well. I never would have predicted that she would be my baby to end up in the NICU.

But she was a little too purple for our liking so we gave her some oxygen that first night. After that she pinked right up and was great from then on. Her first night she coughed and choked every so often which made us worried. It wasn’t super out of the ordinary and we were staying in contact with my midwife so we figured everything was all right.

The perfect beginning

Her second day on this earth was also pretty perfect. Her two older sisters adored her. We got some fun Valentines pictures since I was going for fourteen days of Valentines. She liked being held a lot and we were just getting into that sweet spot of nursing.

Early afternoon on February 1st she had her second bowel movement. It was the biggest newborn diaper I had ever seen. My sister got the brunt of it and learned the meaning of a ‘blow out’. When I went to change her I was shocked to see it more of a red-black than black like it’s supposed to be.

We took a picture and sent it to the midwife. The midwife called our pediatrician and the next thing. It was stressful to be in an Emergency Room with a newborn. There were definitely people there for the flu. I kept her covered and was glad our wait wasn’t too long.

Suddenly nothing was as I planned

As soon as the nurses saw what we saw they whisked us to a room. Within a short while she was administered a vitamin A shot. At this point I had laryngitis and was struggling communicating with the doctors. Thankfully my dad was with me but he’s hard of hearing so we were an interesting pair.

They quickly decided to give her a blood transfusion and to transport us to Primary Children’s Hospital. We had to step out while they operated and put lines through her umbilical cord.

I remember just being in so much denial, I couldn’t believe that I was an hour away from my big girls in a hospital with my baby girl. I have always had my babies at home because I love not having to rush anywhere or do anything. Staying at home with a new baby is so wonderful and peaceful.

We flew together on the plane

That night we arrived at the hospital in Salt Lake City around midnight. My husband had gone home after she was born so he was already in town. He showed up with Zupas, starbucks, and a green drink from my grandma.

I have a hard time thinking about all of this without tearing up. It’s been a year this week. I am so blessed to have my sweet one year old here with me. When I think of how it could have gone I just have to stop and remember that it didn’t. I have her here. She’s healthy, happy, and the cutest thing you’ve ever seen.

For one week she was in the hospital. They gave her antibiotics and nutrients through her lines. She had to get a PIC line after a few days as well. They ran test after test after test. We didn’t get to hold her for 3 days and then when we could, I still couldn’t feed her.

Shout out to hospital pumps though

I am a crunchy mama. I have my babies at home, I rarely give anyone Tylenol, I breastfeed 12+ months. To have my tiny less than a week baby being given all sorts of things through her lines, not even being able to feed her colostrum, and to not even be able to hold her.

To look at her, she was so healthy. All the nurses loved being with her because she was so alert and seemed so well. It was the most frustrating thing. I had a perfectly healthy baby, that kept bleeding and we didn’t know why!

Despite the tests, x-rays, and many doctors opinions they never found anything wrong with her. She was a full-term, healthy baby that bled from somewhere inside of her for about four days and then stopped.

Necrotizing enterocolitis (NEC)

On our sixth day in the hospital she was discharged. They gave her the diagnosis of Necrotizing enterocolitis even though the new tests that detect that didn’t actually detect it.

I know she was healed and I know how. I don’t know what made her sick and most of the time I’m okay with that. I’m incredibly grateful for every day I get to hold my baby. For a week we didn’t know if we would go home empty handed or not.

The Lucky Ones

It’s hard because when I started looking for themes for her first birthday I searched for ‘NICU graduates’ first. I got a lot of ‘Preemie Power’ and ‘this many weeks in the NICU’ signs but none of that really fit. My newborn was a perfectly healthy baby that spent a week in the hospital and would have died – if not for the NICU. I am so grateful for every NICU nurse and doctor, for the team that was so careful and efficient in getting her to Primary Children’s hospital, and for my family who took care of me when I forgot to.

But it is still hard despite all the ways we were lucky. It’s hard because even though I stand here, a year from then, with a happy healthy baby it’s hard to shake that ‘I almost lost you’ feeling. Every so often I’ll talk with a mom who also had a scare and it feels so comforting to not be alone for a second. We are the lucky ones, with the babies that came home, with the babies that don’t have lasting health problems. We are the lucky ones who panic at the slightest scare, who stress about the smallest bump, worry about the littlest fever.

We are the lucky ones. But we don’t forget and we try not to remember.

xo

Faith

Thank you for letting me be vulnerable. Please know that PTSD is very common after a child’s NICU stay. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help. If you don’t have a good support system, reach out. I’m here for you. There are others willing to be there for you.

Natural Home Birth Story: Seren

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When I started out with my third baby our lives were in the middle of huge changes. Moving states, starting/changing jobs, new babysitters, and more. Getting pregnant and having a baby seemed like a huge challenge I couldn’t possibly undertake. I won’t even give any energy to explain how a “surprise” pregnancy can happen. It just does. It does often.

This was my choice to create her and so it was my responsibility to nurture and care for her. I took my prenatal, drank lots of water, and stayed moderately active. Other than that I think my mind refused to acknowledge that I really, truly had to give birth to this child.

With this sort of denial I convinced my husband I would have a natural home birth at my parents house, thirty minutes from the nearest town, alone with him and my mom. I was confident in my ability and confident that as an ex-EMT he could handle any surprises. This would be my third natural home birth so I wasn’t a newbie by any means.

Denial is the best way to begin labor

Luckily, my husband was not in denial and made sure we had a back up plan. We actually called a retired midwife (who delivered my brother years ago) to see if she would provide back up if necessary.

With my others, I did some hypnobirthing and other preparations to prepare me for birth. With this one, I told myself that she could just as well stay in forever. Or at least until I was ready to have her.

About a week before she was due I headed up to Idaho with plenty of luggage for the next two weeks. She was due February 1st, I was determined to keep her in there until that day.

Ready, Set –

I drank raspberry tea with my second and that really works to create contractions so I made sure to do no such thing with this baby. That is, until the night of the 30th and I figured I should maybe start priming my body. I’m not going to say that’s what put me into labor, but I mean I went into labor hours later.

Anyway, shortly before midnight I crawled in bed with my two older girls. I had some practice labor before so it wasn’t concerning me. I laid and played a few levels of a game on my phone, a glutton for punishment as ever. By the time I put my phone away my contractions were getting a little regular. I managed to fall asleep and so my partially conscious brain knew I wasn’t in labor.

Labor!

Sometime after midnight my younger girl woke me up and I realized my contractions were much harder. After we all settled down again I realized I wasn’t going to be able to get to sleep. I got up and wandered around the dark house. I used the bathroom and realized I didn’t want to wear any clothing. This is a sure sign of labor for me.

I called my husband and said he could get on his way. He was a four hour drive away so if my contractions stopped in an hour, he could go home and only have driven for 2 hours. If they kept on longer then he better keep on coming.

Eventually, I got in the tub and it was bliss. In hindsight, I would have stayed there and labored by myself and had the baby that way. So if I have any word of advice in this whole thing is – if you get in a tub and it feels amazing DON’T get out until you either have the baby or it’s 2 hours later and nothing has happened.

But my parents convinced me to get out because I didn’t want to have the baby without my husband, right? Well, I had decided that I was going to have this baby at 5:00 because surely he would be there by then. On his way up he called the midwife and had her head there too. She was an hour away. The poor midwife, taken out of retirement and woken at three in the morning. Bless her and her husband.

My sister was the real MVP

Meanwhile I was laboring by myself. I know I was yelling and ranting a lot. My sister says I said I was never having another baby again. I also know that I refused to let anyone touch me (except my sister) or check me to see how I was laboring.

My dad kept saying I wasn’t close, I wasn’t going to have the baby soon because I wasn’t having contractions often/hard enough. I wish you could have seen my eye roll.

We also ended up talking to my midwife while I was going through transition. I told her I was but she didn’t believe me because I wasn’t ‘loud’ enough. I’ll tell you if I’m not in transition.

Anyway, long story short I pushed when I wasn’t supposed to, didn’t let anyone tell me what to do, walked around, got in the tub, and did whatever the heck I wanted until my husband got there. I knew I was ready, I had already felt the ring of fire once. I could have done it all by myself but I was waiting.

Just after five I was on the bed again and everyone knew it was time but – both my first and second babies got stuck on my ridiculous tilted pelvis. I couldn’t do it, not again. I couldn’t push past the ring of fire more than once, I couldn’t deliver the head without the body again.

Spoiler: she was born right after 5 like I planned

But I didn’t really know how to explain this to everyone. To my husband I said, “I can only do this once. I can’t do it again.” And he said, brave man he was, “You only have to do this once. Just one push.”

In my head I prayed, “Heavenly Father, please help me do this.” I pushed once and out she came. I wanted to watch this time and I was sitting up so I did. It was exactly as I wanted. She had a head full of dark hair and she was nice and chunky.

Pro-tip: Clary Sage

I usually have a difficult time with my placenta. This time was no exception but I had done some research beforehand. I had recently learned about clary sage. I had my husband get it out when I was struggling and it took one whiff and I delivered the placenta. Basically, it’s magic.

Overall, the labor was about six hours (placenta included). I pushed longer than I needed to but it was because I wanted. Everyone else thinks I only pushed about three times.

Education is Key

I actually enjoy reading other people’s birth stories because I love the diversity. I also think the more you know the more you can prepare. With my first baby I was pretty darn naive, despite the research I did. I also had a pretty peaceful birth. However, she got stuck on my pelvis and caused terrible tears. The pain of the actual birth is what stayed with me. With my second I had no such naivety. I had hope for a good birth but expected a difficult one, which I got. She also got stuck but didn’t cause any tears.

When everyone tells you that all you have to do is push past the ring of fire and you’re done – and then you have to do that twice? That’s hard. It’s the absolute hardest part of the labor and doing it twice feels impossible. With this baby I had no hope or expectation of an easy, painless delivery and birth. But in hindsight, she was the easiest and least painful of my births. She was also my biggest baby at 7 and a half pounds.

I think the mind is incredibly powerful and I think you can believe yourself into having a beautiful birth. I think since I simply skipped thinking over the birth except that I knew I would have her on my own terms, I gave myself the confidence to do it my way.

I’m glad for that because it made recovery easier. This was important because despite the birth being picture perfect, we spent the next week in the NICU. Next week I’ll post that story.

Thanks for reading. I’d love to hear about your birth story in the comments below!

xo

Faith

PS I delivered at 5:20. Merely 20 minutes after I said I would.

Personal Reflections for 2020

     motherinthemountains      1 Comment

I started the 2010 decade with a couple of rough years and I ended it with a couple of rough years. I don’t like to be vulnerable but I think it’s important to be transparent. The last decade was full of depression, anxiety, and disappointment. But I did have the best year of my life in the last decade – so far. 2020 is going to beat it.

mommy blogger faith at mother in the mountains

Change is hard for me

and in 2017 a lot of changes began to happen. My husband moved for work so we were in a long distant relationship from fall 2017 to spring 2018. I finished up my last few semesters of school while my girls (2 years and 6 months at the time) had to go to daycare for the first time. Then I interviewed and landed my first job out of the house in four years and then we moved, twice, in one summer.

Smack in the middle of that upheaval I started out with my baby. She was born in January of 2019. Even though she was unplanned and came at the most tumultuous of times, I know she came at the right time. Of course we ended up in the hospital with her and truly thought we were going to lose her for a horrific week.

After that, I stayed home for the next eleven months, just me and my three girls. Last year was full of adventures and fun but 2020 will be better.

2019

The calm after the storm and most days I was still trying to find my footing. I felt completely uprooted and off-kilter for a long time. I’m just now realizing how much I am still dealing with the emotions leftover from 2017/2018.

In the weeks before this new decade started I realized that I had too much left in my heart from the past. I spent a lot of time on reflections for 2020. There was little room for the present and no room for the future. I spent a lot of time thinking over the past few years; taking responsibility for my parts and forgiving others for their parts.

Personal Reflections for 2020

I have moved on. This decade will be full of the present looking forward to the future. I love remembering all the fun times but the past is not somewhere that I want to live.

My words for 2020 are forgiveness, presence, and patience.

The words I am going to carry with me into this next year are, “I can do all things through Christ.” Philippians 4:13

I am tired of being too busy, too sad, and too overwhelmed. Only I can determine how my future will be, I write my own story.

I’m excited to see what this year will bring and I hope you will follow along with me. I would love to hear some of your personal reflections for 2020 in the comments.I was lucky enough to be mentioned in these posts along with other great bloggers you should follow into this year.

xo

Faith

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